3 Surprisingly basic Wellness hacks that will help you feel great

3 Surprisingly basic Wellness hacks that will help you feel great

Mental Wellness is a matter of going back to who we are. Society seems to have left care to “professionals” and so much is made up in the media about “mental illness”.  I get it, people are hurting, and hurt people, hurt people.  Mental illness is a serious business, but one thing I have been pondering. Is all Stress and Anxiety really a “Mental Illness” But what if we changed the focus from Illness, to Wellness?

So many more people these days struggle with anxiety, low self-esteem, feelings of unexplained grief, anger, frustration and the feeling of being lost.  They call it an epidemic and many people are being medicated for it. Yet it all comes down to a focus on better wellness and creating a belief system that supports you better.

But is it really a mental health issue?  Or are the beliefs and decisions you made as a child, and built upon through your growing years simply no longer working for you? Beliefs can work for us or because we believe “I’m not good enough” for example, it can lead us to sabotage in our lives. That may well be why you seem to get ahead in life and then it all falls apart.

Consider this.  Communities are built up of people with like minded views on life.  We talk about socio economic areas.  Low decile, High decile.  They are general regions where people living in close proximity are all getting the same life outcome and believe the same things.   In this way, belief systems become entrenched in the culture of the area in which you are raised. for example, you have religious regions where beliefs relating to that religion are very strong.

We grow up, making sense of the world around us.  All we see is the world immediately around us.  Opinions, beliefs, life outcomes, decisions, behaviors.  In our first few years, we create our “normal” from this world we see and we spend our growing, and then adult years reinforcing those impressions and formed beliefs.  Its how it is for us. It is not till later in life when we are struggling with mental wellness that we begin to question what we always took for granted, and then our belief systems may not work so well for us as it has in the past.

In essence, what we know, is what we know. No more, no less. Consider these few beliefs as an example

woman with self belief feeling a sense of wellness

Belief Systems that hinder wellness

Rich People – Rich people are spoiled rich brats/ Only rich people can make money

Take a moment to ask these question
How do you know your beliefs are true? Are they true of all rich people? 
Do you have examples of nice people with money? 
Do you have examples of rich people who rose from poverty? 
What is the difference between someone with money and you? Are they more special? If so, why?

Parental and Family expectations

My Dad or Mum was a lawyer/accountant (insert here) so I have to be also/ If I do well, my family will think I’m up myself.
Why might your family be upset if rise above, or choose your own path? 
If they don’t support you, can you find someone that will? 
How might staying small benefit my family and myself? How might stepping out benefit my family and myself?
How do my beliefs and actions keep me small?  What do I want instead?
How do my beliefs and actions help me grow?

Belief System about yourself
I’m not good enough

What exactly is good enough?
How will I know when I’m good enough?
Who do I need to be good enough for?
How will I know when I’m good enough?
What would I do differently if I was good enough?
Who is responsible for how I speak to myself?
How does not being good enough support my wellness?

Belief system about others
Other people are better than me

This is a common belief that has a huge impact on our ability to reach out and be authentic to others. Lets examine this

What is it about the person you are focusing on that makes them better than you?
Is the belief you have true or did you make a decision?
What is it about you that makes it true or not true?
If its not true, what is true instead?

When we take a deeper look into what we just took as truth, we possibly, and perhaps begrudgingly at first, might see a different vision for ourselves.  Through noticing our beliefs at play, examining them for sense check, and coming up with our own conclusions, we begin to realize that the only person in the driver’s seat of our lives, is ourselves.

It’s heady stuff when you realized you can drive the bus all by yourself.  It’s very challenging because when you re-evaluate, you need to rebuild.  If you are up to the challenge, then in a lot of cases, peace and a sense of your purpose begin to emerge. 

When you see the truth of yourself, anxiety has no more space to grow. What did you learn about your beliefs? Join the conversation here

Sabotage -3 Simple Questions

Sabotage -3 Simple Questions

Sabotage is an excuse to not face something that makes you feel uncomfortable! Sabotage causes a lot of stress and anxiety, it stifles productivity and stops us getting results in our life and for some reason, we tend to write it off as a phenomenon we know nothing about. 

Why we Sabotage

The biggest reason people sabotage anything is because deep down they don’t believe they can achieve what they set out to achieve.

It’s great to show the world how great you are by setting big goals, or by appearing to have the right partner in your life. You showed them right! But do you have that little nagging doubt that you are worthy of the good things you created?

Think back through your life to the many times you have done this before. Maybe you lost weight, only to gain it back again. perhaps you got a great job and suddenly you lost your confidence or did things to show yourself you were not up to the task

The cycle of unhelpful beliefs leading to sabotage

How Sabotage Keeps you Small

When you are a champion saboteur, you are always looking out at other people. You notice their behavior so you can find them wanting, often because they are displaying the very behaviors you are trying to hide yourself.

So you go about judging others, but trying to appear to be more than you know you are being, all the time never really giving all of yourself to whatever you are doing, because secretly you know you don’t deserve success.

Deserving – the antidote to Sabotage

When you believe you deserve more, you allow yourself to have more, experience more. You give more to others because if you are holding yourself back, you are not only judging yourself harshly, but I will bet actual money you are judging others just the same.

Understanding your strengths as well as your values, appreciating yourself for being the imperfect individual you are and owning the fact you are worthy of stepping up are the best way to stop sabotage. Most of the time we are so busy trying to please everyone else and doing the things we think are wanted, we don’t really stop to consider who we are.

Its really not about doing more or being a hard arse and pushing through. Its not about doing anything. Confidence is the antidote to sabotage. Finding confidence is no 5 minute 3 step process, and you may need help with it. Gaining confidence is about being more open about your fears and insecurities, perhaps with a trusted friend.

Three Simple questions

Three questions you can ask yourself when you are in Sabotage Mode

  1. Am I good enough?
  2. What makes it true?
  3. What makes it untrue?

While these appear to be simple questions, challenge yourself to answer these with a friend. You might find out something you didn’t know. The brain is always solving problems. When you ask, why do I always sabotage? The brain will automatically come up with reasons to sabotage. It only connects to “always sabotage”

To counter this, try asking another question. How will I do this thing? It might be, how will I begin to exercise, or how will I approach this project. Maybe its what do I need to learn to do this thing I want to do? Just find the question that puts your brain to work for you finding solutions. It will make a big difference and sabotage will begin to be a thing of the past.

Another cool thing is to sit with a piece of paper and dream of what it will be like when you conquer this thing. Take yourself away from the situation, and work out what you want. If nothing was in the way, and you didn’t feel this way, how might you feel instead? What would you be feeling? Who else might be there enjoying the fruits of your labor? How would it feel? The more you get involved in dreaming of success, the more you will be motivated to move towards it and you will actually forget to sabotage your efforts.Try it! Give it a crack!

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