Sabotage is an excuse to not face something that makes you feel uncomfortable! Sabotage causes a lot of stress and anxiety, it stifles productivity and stops us getting results in our life and for some reason, we tend to write it off as a phenomenon we know nothing about.
Why we Sabotage
The biggest reason people sabotage anything is because deep down they don’t believe they can achieve what they set out to achieve.
It’s great to show the world how great you are by setting big goals, or by appearing to have the right partner in your life. You showed them right! But do you have that little nagging doubt that you are worthy of the good things you created?
Think back through your life to the many times you have done this before. Maybe you lost weight, only to gain it back again. perhaps you got a great job and suddenly you lost your confidence or did things to show yourself you were not up to the task
How Sabotage Keeps you Small
When you are a champion saboteur, you are always looking out at other people. You notice their behavior so you can find them wanting, often because they are displaying the very behaviors you are trying to hide yourself.
So you go about judging others, but trying to appear to be more than you know you are being, all the time never really giving all of yourself to whatever you are doing, because secretly you know you don’t deserve success.
Deserving – the antidote to Sabotage
When you believe you deserve more, you allow yourself to have more, experience more. You give more to others because if you are holding yourself back, you are not only judging yourself harshly, but I will bet actual money you are judging others just the same.
Understanding your strengths as well as your values, appreciating yourself for being the imperfect individual you are and owning the fact you are worthy of stepping up are the best way to stop sabotage. Most of the time we are so busy trying to please everyone else and doing the things we think are wanted, we don’t really stop to consider who we are.
Its really not about doing more or being a hard arse and pushing through. Its not about doing anything. Confidence is the antidote to sabotage. Finding confidence is no 5 minute 3 step process, and you may need help with it. Gaining confidence is about being more open about your fears and insecurities, perhaps with a trusted friend.
Three Simple questions
Three questions you can ask yourself when you are in Sabotage Mode
- Am I good enough?
- What makes it true?
- What makes it untrue?
While these appear to be simple questions, challenge yourself to answer these with a friend. You might find out something you didn’t know. The brain is always solving problems. When you ask, why do I always sabotage? The brain will automatically come up with reasons to sabotage. It only connects to “always sabotage”
To counter this, try asking another question. How will I do this thing? It might be, how will I begin to exercise, or how will I approach this project. Maybe its what do I need to learn to do this thing I want to do? Just find the question that puts your brain to work for you finding solutions. It will make a big difference and sabotage will begin to be a thing of the past.
Another cool thing is to sit with a piece of paper and dream of what it will be like when you conquer this thing. Take yourself away from the situation, and work out what you want. If nothing was in the way, and you didn’t feel this way, how might you feel instead? What would you be feeling? Who else might be there enjoying the fruits of your labor? How would it feel? The more you get involved in dreaming of success, the more you will be motivated to move towards it and you will actually forget to sabotage your efforts.Try it! Give it a crack!
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