Mental Wellness is a matter of going back to who we are. Society seems to have left care to “professionals” and so much is made up in the media about “mental illness”. I get it, people are hurting, and hurt people, hurt people. Mental illness is a serious business, but one thing I have been pondering. Is all Stress and Anxiety really a “Mental Illness” But what if we changed the focus from Illness, to Wellness?
So many more people these days struggle with anxiety, low self-esteem, feelings of unexplained grief, anger, frustration and the feeling of being lost. They call it an epidemic and many people are being medicated for it. Yet it all comes down to a focus on better wellness and creating a belief system that supports you better.
But is it really a mental health issue? Or are the beliefs and decisions you made as a child, and built upon through your growing years simply no longer working for you? Beliefs can work for us or because we believe “I’m not good enough” for example, it can lead us to sabotage in our lives. That may well be why you seem to get ahead in life and then it all falls apart.
Consider this. Communities are built up of people with like minded views on life. We talk about socio economic areas. Low decile, High decile. They are general regions where people living in close proximity are all getting the same life outcome and believe the same things. In this way, belief systems become entrenched in the culture of the area in which you are raised. for example, you have religious regions where beliefs relating to that religion are very strong.
We grow up, making sense of the world around us. All we see is the world immediately around us. Opinions, beliefs, life outcomes, decisions, behaviors. In our first few years, we create our “normal” from this world we see and we spend our growing, and then adult years reinforcing those impressions and formed beliefs. Its how it is for us. It is not till later in life when we are struggling with mental wellness that we begin to question what we always took for granted, and then our belief systems may not work so well for us as it has in the past.
In essence, what we know, is what we know. No more, no less. Consider these few beliefs as an example
Belief Systems that hinder wellness
Rich People – Rich people are spoiled rich brats/ Only rich people can make money
Take a moment to ask these question
How do you know your beliefs are true? Are they true of all rich people?
Do you have examples of nice people with money?
Do you have examples of rich people who rose from poverty?
What is the difference between someone with money and you? Are they more special? If so, why?
Parental and Family expectations
My Dad or Mum was a lawyer/accountant (insert here) so I have to be also/ If I do well, my family will think I’m up myself.
Why might your family be upset if rise above, or choose your own path?
If they don’t support you, can you find someone that will?
How might staying small benefit my family and myself? How might stepping out benefit my family and myself?
How do my beliefs and actions keep me small? What do I want instead?
How do my beliefs and actions help me grow?
Belief System about yourself
I’m not good enough
What exactly is good enough?
How will I know when I’m good enough?
Who do I need to be good enough for?
How will I know when I’m good enough?
What would I do differently if I was good enough?
Who is responsible for how I speak to myself?
How does not being good enough support my wellness?
Belief system about others
Other people are better than me
This is a common belief that has a huge impact on our ability to reach out and be authentic to others. Lets examine this
What is it about the person you are focusing on that makes them better than you?
Is the belief you have true or did you make a decision?
What is it about you that makes it true or not true?
If its not true, what is true instead?
When we take a deeper look into what we just took as truth, we possibly, and perhaps begrudgingly at first, might see a different vision for ourselves. Through noticing our beliefs at play, examining them for sense check, and coming up with our own conclusions, we begin to realize that the only person in the driver’s seat of our lives, is ourselves.
It’s heady stuff when you realized you can drive the bus all by yourself. It’s very challenging because when you re-evaluate, you need to rebuild. If you are up to the challenge, then in a lot of cases, peace and a sense of your purpose begin to emerge.
When you see the truth of yourself, anxiety has no more space to grow. What did you learn about your beliefs? Join the conversation here